This I Believe

Listen

        I strongly and passionately believe that I should marry a chef one day. I mean, I would marry my mother because she always makes delicious food for me, but society frowns upon this kind of thing and plus she’s already married to my father, so I can’t. If you were my friend, you would know that my most favorite activity is eating. I always have to have something to nibble on everywhere I go. Whenever I don’t have a little snack on me, I feel incomplete and meaningless. I would be like Walter from “Breaking Bad” without his sidekick, Jesse, or like rice without spicy curry.

My Future Husband And Son

     There are limitless benefits to having a chef for a husband. One important advantage to this is the fact that I will always have someone there willing to make me great food for the rest of my life. Whenever I feel hungry, I can just say, “Honey, can you please make me an Italian Wedding Soup with extra meatballs and papaya salad on the side?” He’d reply, “Of course darling, anything for the woman of my dreams!” Another great benefit is that I will never have to cook again; I don’t usually cook anyway because nobody ever likes anything that I make. I read an article a few months ago that stated that women spend fourteen hours a week cooking on average. That’s fourteen hours wasted that I can use to do more productive things like studying for an AP biology test, or doing a scientific experiment to determine why having an abnormal number of chromosomes results in a person having Down Syndrome. As a woman once famously stated, “Ain’t nobody got time for that!”
     Chefs make great husbands. Heck, I think that all the genius people marry chefs. So what if they might be a little chubby? So what if they always smell like food? At least they will cook for me! As I always like say, “The way to my heart is through my stomach.” This is the motto that I will live by until the day I perish.